Everything turns to a nightmare

So, you know I think its just me? Its never anyone else you know? That fucks her relationships up, its always my reactions, and actions, and train of thought, and just be in general that ruin everything.

You know I seriously thought this time would be different? Like maybe we could go a few months without a fight, you know like normal people? But no, I have to come along and fuck us all up with my fucking jealousy!

I seriously fucking hate myself! I love him so much but I just can't do this right, and now I've pushed him so far away with me actions and I just don't have the strength to fight any of it anymore. I just don't want to.

I failed math and modern. Got 84 for drama. Guess I can't complain about that. Havn't got anything else back yet, but the fail is still a worry.

And then on top of that I've fucked it up, his blocked me from everything, I've pushed myself out and it hurts. You know what if it was a team effort maybe it wouldn't feel so bad but knowing I puched him away well that just kills.

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