University?

I'm going to start this off with the title of a fb group I saw 'In every circle of friends there is one person who can answer every question you throw at them.' As I read this I thought to myself that's kind of me, I'm the type of person where if you ask me something I will have some sort of answer for it all the time even if it isn't right. Except this one question 'Which university should I go to?'

This question is kill me. Deep down I want to go to Notre Dame, it just seems so amazing. It might be a small university but everything they seem to offer out does the rest, I guess that's why I wanted early entry so I knew I'd have a place there.

You see as much as I want to go to Notre Dame I've always wanted to wind up at USYD (university of Sydney.) I guess this is because everyone deep down inside themselves wants to go there, like who wouldn't, it's the most well known university's in Australia and offers so much, but it's not where my heart really lies.

My final real place of interest would be ACU (Australian Catholic University) this place because it has the most renown teaching courses in NSW (I want to do teaching.) The problem is that the course is the only thing drawing me to the university, and I don't want to be at a university where I dislike everything else besides the course.

I know that it shouldn't matter where I end up because at the end of the day I know where I want to end up and I know what I have to do to achieve it. I guess I just want the most out of the next four years of my life because as everyone says they're the best years of your life.

I guess I just have to wait another three weeks for my marks.

Lostintransmission signing off, xx.

Being a woman

As I stand here in the kitchen doing the woman thing and cooking ( don't give me any feminism stuff) I think to myself where is the line between stirring the pot and actually bullying someone?

I was out today and a male friend of mine was going on about so hot some girls (who looked 12) arse was. Like don't get me wrong I value the female arse in many forms and accept a comment from a stranger and will listen to a friend like this one go on about an arse but it brings me to a thought of where is the line? Is it age? How fat the commenter is taking it? Or is it fine to just keep going because they are simply interested on the arse?

Lostintranission.xc

A funny thing really.

I know I just posted a thing but I was looking at my page stats and I found it somewhat interesting that most of my audience (not that it's a big one) is from the complete opposite of the world, seriously. I'm on little old (not really) Australia and all my views are from Europe and Russia and Africa and a few other places and I was thinking how do I even get an audience on those places I don't know anyone outside of Australia that even knows I have this attempt of a blog, well at least I thought it was funny. Lostintransmission.xx

Why is ginger called ginger if it's not really ginger?

That one has got you thinking, hasn't it?

Okay so my dilemma of the day. I seem to be having a few of these recently. The whole boyfriend and mother thing, I've gotten the reasoning behind the whole father boyfriend junk but the mother boyfriend thing is a whole new playing field.

I've learnt that different people want different things to happen in your life because it's either going to impact on their lives or it's going to set you up for something positive in the future but what happens when what they want isn't what you want? I've just reached that stage.

I'm the kind of person that will spend as much effort possible on trying to keep other people even if it means I might end up in a place (both mentally and/or psychically) that I might not want to be in. The thing lately is that trying to keep l these people happy has become a nightmare especially between my boyfriend and my mother. I know they both want the best for me but the thing is I don't know if what they want is what I want anymore.

I'm not going to give which one wants what but one wants me to just go out their and experience everything I possibly could and the other just wants me to take it slowly and trend carefully. My problem isn't that I have to choose between the both of them because that's not even possible it's my mother and the guy ice spent three years with they are both equally important to me. It's that they feel as if they get to make my decisions for me and if I go against one I get shit feed to me about it.

I just want to be left to feel happy with my decisions and not as if I have to please everyone else. I mean it is my life but sometimes it feels like no one e even listens to me.

Lostintransmission.xx

escaping my escape.

It's been a little under two months since I finish school and a week since I completed my last exam, yet I don't feel free. I remember when I was complaining that I didn't want to be at school anymore, people would say it'll all be over soon and you'll wish it didn't end, yet I don't feel that. I feel as if I need to escape something greater then just the reality that has spent six years growing on me now that I've finished I feel some what lost. I've became apart of this life style that I spent day in day out living completely without a complaint and now I have to find another one to be apart of and it's somewhat scray. I mean I felt like finishing high school would be an escape but it wasn't it just me into a deeper need to escape. I've become trapped in a life that I don't want to be living, maybe soon enough thigns will change but for now Im lost and despirae to escape into a greater realtiy in which I acutally see a purpose. lostintransmissionxx

my goal

Okay, I read that you're going to be more motivated to do something if you have people that know you're goal and are encouraging you to reach it through support and positive feedback. So my goal is to lose 30cm off my waist and fit into a size 12.

Any feedback or advice on staying on track would be appreciated.

Lostintransmissionxx

Just a little bit lost, confused and unsure.

It's getting late and I know I should be asleep but I'm scared and I'm worried and I feel like I haven't done enough on a lot of grounds for myself, my friendships, my family and my future. Tomorrow morning I have an interview for a scholarship that will pay for all my University fees and gives me a permanent job out of Uni my only problem is I don't think I deserve it.

I know I've put a lot of work into keep everyone else happy this year but I haven't put enough to my studies. I'm worries that I'm going to get it over someone else that probably deserves it more then myself. I know if I don't go for it than I'm going to let everyone around me down because they've all pushed me so hard to do my best and not give it up but is it really what I deserve? Do I deserve a scholarship over someone else? I really don't know, and it's eating away at me.

Lostintransmissionxx.

So here it is . . .

So I was thinking I should most likely keep to my word and come and write this fully intense update on my life but I seriously don't know what to say.

I guess I should start with a timeline of significant events since January and see if I can go in-depth into them or something like that; it should be in chronological order of when things happened and such so stick with through the boring parts.

1 - I got myself a new job, yeah, woo go me? Yeah okay so it's not that bad I rather enjoy it, it's not like I cbfed going to work and all it's the fact I have to go to work.

2 - I graduated High School! Alright so that's kind of cool, big significant part of my life all over and done with and all. It's been alright since then kind of on and off studying for exams (last one tomorrow :D.) That means I'm basically free to do whatever I want and what kind of got me back into the idea of blogging but I'm thinking I'm not just going to blog about myself but more of that later.

3 - I got myself an early offer from the University Of Notre Dame to do teaching which is pretty damn awesome.

4 - I've got myself an interview on Monday for a scholarship to pay for this offer from Notre Dame which again is pretty damn awesome.

That's kind of all of the major significant things that have happened since I last had an update but it lets you all know what's going on in my life and such, which I just realised is pretty boring but any who like I said I'm going to take a different approach to this whole blogging thing since I didn't really get much interest when I was writing about my life so I'm going to start incorporating my opinions on movies and such.

That's all for now, lostintransmission over and out.

It's been a while

Hi all, so everything got crazy and I gave up but I think it's time for me to come back and let you know how I am doing, atm good.

I'm running short of time right now but I'll be back with a full length OMG everything no one really wants to know soonish.